although, he did mention that there could be some form of telepathy etc. but the reference to that is very limited since it is not confirmed.

It’s obvious that nothing happens to you (plural).
You want to see the results, you want only money. You want, want. First rule: Be always positive. The results will begin to arrive only and only when you decide to change and believe in yourselves. And the blind said, “thank you my Lord for having given me back my sight” and He replied: “it wasn’t me. YOU did it ( you felt it with your heart and desired it, etc.) and had faith and recieved sight.” Back to you: you want to see the things you want to see and feel what you want to feel. Open your mind, feel the awe and get moved like children. The rest will come by itself.

So for those who tried to offend my intelligence it didn’t work. I just was trying to explain things in the way they were explained to me.

Do we really need to get so nitpicky ? Seriously ???

The essence of Law of Attraction is about energy as I’ve said above. Thoughts become things. Mike who is in The Secret has several videos on it so here is a link if you like.

[link zapped to protect the innocent]

I have lots of online friends and one more is always welcome. I keep very few actual people that I hang with in real life down to a bare minimum. For many reasons

I will say I am in a better mindspace. I wouldn’t say that meditation is wrong or doesn’t work. I am just the kind of person who builds up a lot of energy from it and sometimes it needs to release and I get ultra sensitive whenever my little bubble of enlightenment gets busted.

I know not to give up on it, but I needed to release the energy to create a different focus.

Like my boyfriend Lance says: “How do you tackle eating an elephant?”

One bite at a time. So that’s how I’m handling things. I know I have to change things to make things change. I start school this week, by the end of April I can start applying for new jobs to get out of the rut I am in.

I am cleaning up my suite I live in and getting rid of old papers and stuff no longer of use (clean the physical clutter to release the energy clutter) believe me I’ve done it before and IT WORKS!!!

Then just take things one step at a time, get a new job, get a new apartment etc etc.

Lance is supporting me in any way he can.Not with money but with love and a shoulder to lean/cry on.
(He’s going through his own struggles and if all pans out for him with the legal issues he’s going through and his money comes through then our life together for the future is going to be very different than it is right now) let’s just say he could become a very rich man again shortly. I won’t go into details but…let’s say there’s a big wad of cash he’s due to get soon and some of it will be a monthly pension so at age 55 he’ll finally be able to retire as planned and help his 42 year old girlfriend (me of course) do things she’s not been able to do before.

More on this later…it’s not so much waiting for his stuff, I know I have to get on with my stuff. He and I are quite differently spiritually and it will always be a part of my life and he respects me for that.

Anyhow…let’s just say things are feeling better.

The exercises couldn’t point out to me how they related to my situation. In fact they didn’t really apply at all. I tried Abraham Hicks books, Tony Robbins books etc.

I am spiritual but not in the sense of thinking the universal energy as it being the be all and end all of the thing that keeps me positive.

I believe in a cosmic force, I am a practicing Wiccan so believe me I trust in the existence of both a feminine and male energy in the universe but I don’t rely on it to keep me positive, it is my own head and the logical side of me not the spiritual side of me. The spiritual side of me still trusts, still is positive but I’ve never been one to practice or accept patience.

It is of my own doing and I’ve just run out of ideas how to make it work. It’s a battle of ego and logic and all kinds of things for me.

I am also still very much a skeptic as well.

I am not in any kind of a unique situation. Just a routine I haven’t figured out how to break because every time I attempt to change it, then it all blows up in my face.

I’ve decided to approach it logically is the only way at this time. I’ve applied to take courses to improve my computer skills and apply to any and every job I can find after that where it applies even in the smallest sense of the job requirements and then trust that wherever I’m supposed to be is whereever I am supposed to be. I paid for these courses a month ago. I just want it NOW not have to wait but that was the soonest I could get them was next month. I am taking them on Saturdays so as I still have to work. One step at a time is how it has to be done.

It’s my headspace that has to change in the sense of what is going on inside of my thoughts. Nothing with how the brain works or any of that. I just am emotionally charged. I took a course called What Colour is your Parachute, kind of like that True Colors thing to help you figure out what kind of career you should have. I was mostly blue with a little green and yellow in it. Which means I am emotionally based and dislike routine without creativity. Unfortunately I am also a very good speaker and have been in telephone/telemarketing sales related work for years.

What seems to happen and I don’t know if it’s age or what but even when I apply for new jobs that definitely are suited to me the “management” of that job says no you’re not, your skills aren’t transferrable because you haven’t worked for our kind of company with our kind of product so even though you’re suitable you are not, sorry.

Management is stupid as far as I am concerned, when it comes to this but I am frankfully honest when I say that isn’t me. I even applied to jobs where I know for a fact my skills can be valued and are fitting as telephone/inside sales/telemarketing call it what you will, those skills can be used in many types of positions and I get turned down. I’ve had 2 resumes done professionally by someone and still it doesn’t get me an interview.

This is why I’m frustrated in my job, there is no creativity really, it’s very routine etc. So I feel stuck and I guess I just have to do what I have to do.

Anyhow that’s all I have to say.